Poetry is not my strong suit by any stretch of the most flexible imagination, of the most imaginative human, living. Period! When I meander much past, “Roses are red, Violets are blue….“, my brain can systematically become glazed over. Yes, it is said that poetry is meant to be read aloud, but not even that helps me. So why would I be reading a poem and now writing about it? Because there is something about this one that sparked a thought in me that was linked to several discussions I have recently had with some young people and some older friends.
I have recently spent some time reading some T S Eliot poems, which if I was honest, I was probably supposed to have read in high school but probably did not, and strayed into the poem, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. In a summative manner, this poem is about a young man who experiences desire, disappointment, and……. anxiety. While this poem is speaking of internal struggles this young man may be dealing with related to a possible romantic connection, and his struggle to act on that desire, I would suggest most personal relationships experience some degree of struggle, albeit at different levels of emotional involvement.
One “verse“, repeated throughout the poem, truly caught my attention, and seemed to highlight the anxiety this young man truly was struggling with:
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
I had to read the poem several times before I developed an appreciation for the meaning in these two rhythmical lines. Maybe because of my recent visits to some art museums and sitting in some of the “rooms” (or galleries) and hearing people speak of what they think of a particular piece of art, allowed me to envision this young man’s internal struggle. One may sense that this young man questions his ability to engage in discussion with these women; how will he be perceived by them? Will they think of him outside their social “circle”? Will they “target” him for ridicule and demeaning remarks? Does this sound familiar, and maybe recognized, as occurring in social settings (from academic hallways to corporate cubicles) across the world? This poem was probably written by Eliot around 1911 and first published in 1915. He would have been a young man of around 21 when he wrote it.
So, is there a point to my question? I would suggest a couple points we may consider, as I encourage you to take a run at this poem if you have never read it (Click here). First, I think for us to help ourselves, and others, in coping with anxiety we must be willing to recognize: this is not something new we are facing. I think we can, at times, be too quick to place blame on some “newness” in our culture; i.e., social media and other technologies. I simply want to challenge myself and consider; Is that reaction of placing “blame” somewhere else a deflecting of my opportunity, or willingness, to engage in personal interactions to help and encourage someone? (In other words, move beyond just placing blame and move towards “action through involvement” with individuals.)
Second, we have at least “evolved” in our culture to a position of openly recognizing these types of mental and physical challenges in individuals, at all ages. When I was growing up these type “conditions” were addressed via what I personally term, “The John Wayne” treatment; Grab the person by the collar, pull them up, and tell them “Get over it pilgrim!”. In other words, we seemed to “help” each other with this by placing all the effort onto the one already struggling with “the effort” to overcome. There are many causes for many degrees of anxiety, and not all of them are under an individuals’ control.
Third, we must recognize that anxiety is a condition that has been with us down through human history. If it seems as if there is more of it today, well let’s also remember there are more of us today. Let’s remember we have risen to a level where we may be more open about it. Let’s recognize we have more avenues that open us to see it more in our society. So, only making the point that it is more prevalent or growing today is not the productive response if we truly desire to help one another cope better with these challenges.
So, here is the point I want to leave us with to consider. What is our response to “the issue” of anxiety in individuals? Are we willing to take accountability and admit that “we”, as a society, have not effectively or properly responded? I think that is the first step that must be taken if we truly want to become “better people”. Then, read this paragraph again and replace the “we“‘s and “our“‘s with… “I“‘s.
Huh??? All that because I read a poem …. Maybe the practice of reading IS a door to self-improvement; not the reading of so called “self-improvement” books, but the reading of literature.